Prologue

 

The Queen Bee

 

Why does anybody care about the way I see the world? It came up in my mind like a heavy set man apparent in the check out line. Impatient, although he had just gotten there. But maybe it wasn’t about the way I saw the world. Maybe it was about the way I saw myself.

Because you have been led here, they told me. Angels keep telling you that it was one step at a time, that it takes dedication to achieve long term and short term goals. They were there with me through the hard times when I needed help and support.

As I settled into the unnaturally busy library on this particular Saturday morning, a man sat across the room helping a girl with math. My fascination with numerology made me incapable of ignoring the constant whizz of numbers coming from his mouth. I don’t remember what he was explaining but he kept saying 343 over and over again. He was getting louder and louder to emphasize his point and on any other day I would have been annoyed by his obtrusive voice, but this particular day I was looking for some guidance and was happy for the distraction.

I was trying to define the theme of what I would write and what it is I will present to editors. It was hard, each theme slightly different, making the composition of what I had to say and the lense that you would view my work through slightly different yet distinct. Fear, my old familiar friend, hassled me in my worry that I wouldn’t get it just right. For you.

My rendevu with the divine led to a short spur of looking at my horoscope leading to looking out the window at families going by and a sharper focus and determination for what I had come to do.  I feel that I am here to write this book. That fact that I keep getting signs all over the place from the divine to not give up and to achieve, steadily, these goals of mine.

I am like you, or many who I perceive, who have finally found ways of accepting themselves. I accept myself more and more everyday.

Before, I wasn’t like that.

Soon I will tell you more about before.  The same before that while it was excruciating, enabled me to move forward and experience true joy and a love for myself that I had never known.

Now, everywhere I go, I drive down the street and see my favorite numbers.  4774 goes by on a license plate. You’re doing a good job, spirit tells me, congratulations. 8448, don’t give up, good is on its way to you. 824, you are right for thinking that good is on its way to you because of all the hard work you have put into everything and your dedication and heart, good is soon on its way into your life.

When I’m thinking about how I’ve wasted too much time and my eyes flick to something that says ‘on time’. The little signs, that, everyday, are all over the place in my life that keep me positive and on track.

Spirit, if you let it, can play an integral part in our lives and help us in not doubting ourselves and our own feelings. That is what I needed the most.

One night I was using angel cards to get advice on what I needed to do for my book before bringing it to an editor.

The fool came up. Its message was,  ‘Go forth unhindered. A belief in what you do not know. What might seem unlikely or arduous to others.  You are ready, go for it.’

I kept getting messages that this is what I’m meant to do. This is what I’m meant to say. That is why I feel confident enough to write this book. Spirit is guiding me every step of the way. Spirit helped me through my hardest of days, and they are here for you too.

Through my story you will find how I learned to accept myself even when no one else did.

 

©Nicole Poirier

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