It was winter time and I was feeling a combination of dread and hope as I walked into Lauren’s house for an essential oil party. There were about 10 unfamiliar cars scattered about in the driveway, the same driveway that I sat in every morning waiting for Lauren to come out of her house. I knew Angela, from work, would be there and I reminded myself of it, both to reassure and steady myself.
I was immediately overwhelmed with the amount of people to introduce myself to as I walked into Lauren’s crowded kitchen. I talked to a tall blonde lady first that I had recognized from yoga class. I immediately felt inferior in comparison to her. She looked like she belonged in a J. Crew magazine or maybe a bohemian yoga video on YouTube that got a lot of views. She was about 40 and was a stay at home mom. I don’t remember what I talked to her about because my nerves had completely overcome me by that point. She made haste in moving on and away from me and my nervous energy. Onto someone, I presumed, who may have been more comfortable to talk to.
I felt extremely insecure and a bit panicky and found some comfort next to Lauren over by her kitchen counter. The kitchen was small and u-shaped and surrounded by older, medium toned, wood cabinets. Lauren offered me some mulled wine and made sure to exaggerate the recipe to me in a way that she knew it was exemplary of her to tell it to me with such enthusiasm and presence. I remembered feeling like I was an item for her instead of a friend or a person. Was I just an item to flaunt her influence and status? Was I just another filled chair for her to demonstrate to these other ladies from yoga class how many friends she had or how worthy she was?
Lauren meandered away soontherafter, and I made my way towards the oval shaped kitchen table on the left side of the room. Kate, our yoga instructor, was talking to a couple ladies. She had set up essential oils all over the oval table for people to begin sampling. I tried to position myself in a way that I would appear comfortable. I began to listen, but made sure not to be directly part of the conversation for fear of stopping it and making everybody uncomfortable. I smelled a couple of the fragrances. The kitchen table had been pulled out so that there was more space around it. I put one knee on a chair in a non-committal way and listened to Kate talk about the oils. Another lady and I got to talking. She was very nice and had a kind and matter of fact way in talking. Her short black hair was laced with gray thick strands and I felt unusually comfortable for talking with someone new. I discovered she did the same yoga class that Lauren and I did with Kate and I learned that she had started a successful wedding planning company. We talked about ideas I had for my wedding so far and she gave me her business card.
Finally, Kate called the other ladies over and started to begin her presentation. Kate, as I already knew, had a very loving way of talking, often closing her eyes during parts of her demonstration while she was talking. She radiated love and confidence and was continually warm to me when I saw her. I was happy to be trying new things and getting out of my comfort zone a bit. She gave an overview on different oils and what they could be used for and how they could be beneficial in your life.
I already knew some of the information because it wasn’t the first essential oil party I had been to. We all sipped on our warmed wine and listened along. Angela from work showed up 10 minutes or so into her talk and I felt instantly comforted by her presence. She introduced herself and we went on with the discussion. Some of the ladies in the group shared what they used essential oils for. One remarked how she used them for relaxation. Then another remarked she felt like she had been calming down for so long that it was finally time to wake up, so she had started using different essential oils to help her with that. It felt really good to be getting to know people who were all interested in some of the same things I was interested in.
During the presentation, Kate had said that whatever scent you are drawn to, is a scent that you probably need in your life. She said that that they are kind of like horoscopes in that way. I was drawn to a scent called Arborvitae.
The scent had the following description under emotional benefits.
Emotionally, Arborvitae has been used for centuries by Natives to promote grounding, calming, and spiritual trust. Like all tree oils, it can help us stand strong and stable. It also helps those of us who feel like everything is or has to be a struggle, or that we must do things ourselves without help (hmm, maybe that’s why I didn’t care for the aroma!). It can help a person process through control issues, rigidity, trust, fighting with reality, courage, and more.
I was instantly amazed. Out of all the 40+ oils she had out on the table, for some reason, I was drawn to the earthy smell of this one. It was exactly what I needed. I needed to trust and let go and let other people help me. (Especially the spiritual realm!) I had just started using angel cards and it was exciting to get something about spirituality even in the scent that I was attracted to.
At a local bookstore, with Lauren about a month back, I had been to another essential oil party. It had been interesting because there were two women there promoting their new book. They had written it after one of them had been bed-stricken for several months, after having believed that she had been ignoring her own emotions. When she began to acknowledge her emotions she realized the magic connection between mind, body and soul. It was a tiny book that they had created together. Each small page had an emotion on it coupled by an affirmation to help you let go of the certain emotion.
The night they had told the small group how they had come up with the idea for their book they had done a muscle test to demonstrate their belief. The test demonstrated that you were stronger when you weren’t thinking about stressful things. She had asked for a volunteer for the test and Lauren, out of about seven women, coyly stood up, even though everything in her presence said that she was excited for the attention.
She was asked to focus on keeping her arm level when it was pushed on to test for resistance in the muscle. Then she was asked to do the same thing and told to think about something stressful. Lauren’s arm had gone straight down proving their theory that things get harder when you are thinking about stressful or upsetting things.
After the essential oil party and book review, Lauren and I were outside chatting. The sun had gone down, and the yellow historic street lights glowed in the background on the brick sidewalk. The glow made me feel alive and excited for the new opportunities that were presenting themselves in my life.
We were standing outside talking about what we had just done and were both excited for our new purchase of the small book of emotions. Lauren revealed to me in the glow of the light that, during her stress test, she had thought about her and her husband’s trouble conceiving. I had comforted her. It felt nice to be able to talk about intimate things with her. I had tried with other friends and it felt like they didn’t really have the interest, or had just wanted to talk about superficial things. I comforted her for a while and then left her to find her truck with tears welling up in her eyes.
It was exciting for me, after my experience at NDX, that I could be so readily accepted by Lauren. I was forming new friendships along with new acquaintances. I was starting to do things that interested me. Emotion had greatly interested me since starting therapy and I found the mind-body connection completely fascinating. Now, here I was talking about all those things in one night! It not only felt like I was on the right path, but it felt like I had momentum surging in me to finally be involving these things in my day to day life.