I feel like I can relate to Chanel Westcoast on Rob Dyrdek’s show Ridiculousness in ways. I read her in a way that she is a constant agent in just wanting to keep the peace.
I was watching an episode where Rob calls her out for her shirt and leggings and asked her what statement she was trying to make.
Then he asked if she would ever want to be a newscaster.
She answered in a funny way like she normally does. And Rob subtedly made fun of her like he does. She takes it with grace and laughs it off trying not to take it seriously.
I wondered how long it would take before her inner self wanted to come out. I instinctively knew that she wasn’t really that happy all the time. I knew that she was just reacting in the best way that she knew how.
I felt bad for her. I could see how she molded herself to fit whoever was going to be on the show. Just take a look at what she wears depending on which guest is coming in. Her outfit constantly catering to whoever was coming on.
From Riff-Raff to Sara Jean Underwood to Larry King you can see the vast difference in her wardrobe. From pretty cute girl, to rapper girl to sex pot her clothes changed with the tide. Her scandalous outfit for Larry King’s episode looked like lingerie. I couldn’t help but think that she was just the sex object for Larry King’s own sense of success.
How many things had she just laughed off in her life? I angered and empathized with her. I had recently realized the great important of speaking up for my feelings when I felt them or the discourse I felt in my own body was harsh.
At what point does something as selfless as laughing something off damage your own self-worth? When do you have to speak your own truth and to what degree do you just go with the flow? When does it become so much of a habit that people start to expect it from you and you feel like you can’t escape the image you have created for yourself?
When people expect you to laugh at all their jokes it can be a very overwhelming feeling. Being overly accommodating can get you stuck in a rut that you didn’t realize you would find yourself in. You can feel very pressured and uncomfortable and you feel like you can’t be your genuine self. The only way to feel okay and to make sure everyone else around you believes you’re okay is to laugh. It’s can be a desperate feeling to worry that other people may realize that you’re not okay.
It’s lonely and isolating.
It seems to me that Chanel is losing herself more and more with each episode she does. I understand she has a sweet gig going. She gets paid well for the show I’m sure, she gets to meet famous people, and she gets exposure for her rapping career. It just disappoints me that she doesn’t stand up for herself more. That she just lets herself be a scratching post for whatever cat needs a little self-morale boost. It’s easy for me to see this in her because I saw it in myself.
I know she lacks a sense of self-worth like I did and that can be a difficult place to be. Until she learns to develop her own sense of self-worth and self-acceptance she will be living a sad and lonely life. Few people will know the raw feelings that live inside her. That eat at her when she’s not keeping herself busy.
It’s hard to realize painful things about yourself. Most people just avoid it their wholes lives. But it’s courageous to look inside yourself and to value your own feelings.
I thought that I was happy when I ran with a group of my boyfriend’s friends in high-school, laughing at whatever they said, knowing that I had “made it” because I was friend’s with the coolest people. There couldn’t be anything wrong with me because I was with the coolest people. But they never really valued me. And I don’t think Rob Dyrdek really values Chanel Westcoast either.
She has to value herself and her own personal power before she can grow into the spiritual being whom she is meant to be.